The Fiddler
Boot-clad and black as night
Mute thoughts come alive
As the fiddler of death, and master of fear
Boot-clad and black as night
Mute thoughts come alive
As the fiddler of death, and master of fear
Has captive control of this winter-world's ears.
With screech of his bow
His true colors show
Playing Chopin and Rachmoninoff
Saying, "Come home my love" in a soft
Yet menacing tone.
Set as the axis of everything, "home".
Ooh... haunting.
ReplyDeleteVery cool. Really enjoyed the voice and the illustrative language you brought to this piece. Very cool. Thanks
ReplyDeleteUnreal, the first poem I come to read from todays new form and its based in music, same as my own. Great minds think alike huh.
ReplyDeleteThe image and the words complement each other perfectly. A commendable effort for sure.
Hi - Glad you tied this to a musical theme and am looking forward now to Tino's as well. This again proves that this form is suited to making music with words. It's original intent is to make it sound free, improvisational while still sticking to VERY strict form. (sigh)
ReplyDeleteSo letting you know that I am well aware doing this is no easy task, we'll consider that form. As to rhymes on front and back (and slant rhymes definitely count here) perfect!
But then there's the meter part. Should be nine syllables to the line. Ideally should read as thus: 1 Stressed/2 unstressed/3 Stressed/4 unstressed/5 Stressed/6 unstressed/7 Stressed/8 unstressed/9 Stressed. The syncopation in the music happens with the alliteration created when the first syllables of the two lines rhyme and at the same time the last STRESSED syllable from line 1 of the couplet bumps against another STRESSED syllable at the beginning of the next.
That music did occur here, but the lines were short the required syllables; nevertheless as I have said about other poems today - you are certainly free as a poet to alter the form to suit your style, individuality and unique voice. That you didn't adhere strictly to this is always something a poet can choose to do or not. The poem as written is quite wonderful.
Great ending!
ReplyDeletenice..i def love the musical touches and the last line is just stellar...nice cadence to this as well...
ReplyDeleteLove the soft, menacing tone and your rhymes. I got all iambic pentameter about it (I rarely do forms), but you managed to free yourself and come up with a refreshing look on the angle of death. First time here, great job! Peace, Amy Barlow Liberatore
ReplyDeletehttp://sharplittlepencil.com/2012/04/20/free-spirit-speaks-couplets-for-dverse/
Nice write! I love the tone.
ReplyDeleteA nice variation on the framed couplets form; you still keep the beginning rhymes and end rhymes for each couplet. But I appreciate the playfullness in this, especially as a response to the fantastical image you use as a starting point, which is emphasized by the line length and rhyme.
ReplyDelete